There are now one hundred and eleven (111) churches in America which are part of my effort to Rebuild Our Family. I have personally contacted a portion of those churches seeking their support. This is an ongoing effort and I am pleased with the responses to date. One thing that has become quite apparent is that there is some resistance to the concept of the traditional nuclear family (i.e., mother (female)/father (male)). And that resistance is apparent within both the secular and religious community.
My effort in no way condemns or belittles other forms of family structures. My effort is to go back to a family structure of not too long ago which laid the foundation for a very successful group of Baby Boomers. These Baby Boomers were able to enter into their world proficient in the 3 R’s (i.e., reading, writing and arithmetic) and properly schooled in social behavior. Furthermore, that family structure provided first hand observation of husband/wife interaction for the children to observe and mimic in their later life. In line with that, I have provided one episode of my childhood which reflects how that man/woman scenario played out.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, I heard the front door open as Dad returned home from work. I then heard mom’s muffled voice telling Dad what I had done. Tears ran down my face and my nose dripped uncontrollably. Nothing good for me was coming out of this and I took the moment to reflect back on how I got myself into this dire situation.
Earlier that day, my friend Billy told a group of us boys that alcohol burned when you lit it. “Wow” we all said and I could not wait to see if Billy knew what he was talking about. Mom was out shopping with my sisters, my older brother was around somewhere and dad was at work. I went upstairs to the bathroom, closed the door and poured alcohol on the linoleum floor and lit it. Billy was right, it burned. But it did more than I had anticipated; it also burned the linoleum flooring. The smell was horrible and I panicked. I tried to stomp out the fire, bad idea. My new tennis shoes caught fire. In full panic mode now, I grabbed a towel, through it over the fire and stomped it out.
My mind of ten years said “get rid of the evidence” so I stuffed the towel under the tub. Nothing I could do with neither the burned linoleum flooring nor my burned tennis shoes. I think I began to pray that the Lord would grant me a miracle and repair the flooring and my shoes.
When mom came home, I met her at the door to help with the groceries. She immediately smelled something burning and ran up the stairs to the bathroom. I heard a yell, and I knew I was in for it. Mom cried and lectured me about what could have happened as she wore my legs out with that extension cord. Afterwards, I was told to go to my room and wait for dad.
So here I am awaiting my punishment from a man who just came home after a long day’s work, a man whose son almost burned the house down, a man who now has a job to replace the bathroom flooring and a man who now has to buy his son a new pair of tennis. This is not a happy man, full of mercy, who will be entering my room very shortly. Needless to say, I got the whipping of my life. Dad did give me a one-minute speech about burning down the house and then he got very busy teaching me that there are consequences for our actions.
Mom had prepared the evening meal and at dinner time, we all sat at the dining room table. Dad blessed the meal and got first serving. As was our custom, all children got a chance to talk about their day. When my turn came, I apologized for almost burning down the house and promised not to do it again. By the time dinner was over, you would not have known that I had done a very bad thing.
At the time I was too young to understand the dynamics of the family structure and how it was shaping my life. But as I got older, I could relate. There was my mother who was overtaken with grief by the thought of almost losing her son and home to fire. It was very emotional for mom. Then there was my father who relieved the stress my mother felt by handling the situation with their son, providing guidance to him and repairing the bathroom. Then these two pulled the family back together at the dinner table. They were a team, working together for the common good of the family unit. I saw and lived these things and am a better person for it.